There’s beauty in allowing yourself to fail. Oftentimes, failure has brought me clarity. It’s brought me hope. It’s brought me purity. It’s brought me back to square one. And it’s brought me to tears.
Failure is scary. And failure is intimidating.
Failure is as crucial to success as it can be debilitating.
Failure is needed. Failure brings freedom.
Failure tells me “this didn’t quite work but you can try it a little different next time” and sometimes it tells me “that was awful and you shouldn’t try anything like that again”.
Failure tells the truth. Failure is a friend.
So why is it that I shy away from failure? Why is it that I won’t let it teach me lessons? Why do I run so much from this friend of mine? Maybe because I feel like it’s been by my side for too long. Maybe I’m tired. Maybe I don’t want to see the truth.
Either way, I’ve been failing more and failing often. But am I failing smarter? Am I progressing farther? The optics seem to say I am but I feel as if it’s all a sham. Failure looks at me as if to say, “we’ll surely meet again”.
Fail More. Fail Often. Fail Smarter. – D.T. Ruth
Journal: Wow. Two posts in one week. I’m on a roll. I’m not sure why failure was top-of-mind for me tonight as I lay in bed. Maybe it’s because I’m slightly overwhelmed with a growing to-do list and am coming to terms with a three-year unsuccessful attempt to switch careers as I grow my business. This means I’m looking for steady income in accounting departments again and it doesn’t feel too good. At the same time my business is slowly growing but the more things grow the more I’m filled with this feeling of existential dread like I’m biting more than I can chew.
I tend to dream as big as possible and then trust the process. I told myself early on in my journey that the road was going to be long and unconventional. I fully believe in my ability to chip away at my goals and have taken small, actionable steps toward achieving my dreams. And yet, these negative thoughts about failure creep into my mind in the wee hours of the morning when I should be resting because my newborn will undoubtedly wake up any second now asking to be nourished. I have no time to flirt with negativity but I’ve come to embrace that it’s impossible to escape. For me, the best way to combat negative thoughts is to do what I enjoy doing most: write down how I’m feeling over some music.
I usually try to write in rhyme schemes because I like to rap but this one just kind of poured out of me. It’s nice when that happens. It’s nice to just sit and write without a thought about the technicalities. It’s nice to just sit and write: period.
Anyway, thank you for entertaining my nightly rambles if you’ve made it this far. If you go through similar stretches of feeling overwhelmed and on the brink of failure just remember to keep going. I’ve been failing all my life and it’s a blessing to have another day to try things out and fail again. Who knows? Maybe we won’t fail the next time.
Be You. Live R.E.A.L.
Daniel Steez 