It feels like I’m always longing for something and I can’t quite verbalize what that “something” is. I’ve been dreaming about running this company for years and as I look back on the journey I can’t imagine doing things differently. At the same time I have the self-awareness to know that even though I spent a substantial amount of time and energy on my projects I probably could have done more to further my cause. And yet, I have no clue what more I could have done.
These aren’t fully formed thoughts and if you’re reading this then you could probably tell that I’m conflicted. On one hand, my company is over ten years old and hasn’t had any significant income in over 8 years. On the other hand, 8 years ago I had the crazy idea that maybe the future would be based on online communities and that I should start my own. Fast forward to today and my network has grown to include 8 active brands/segments with 200,000 total followers and a monthly reach of a million people per month. The reach is impressive but the financials are not. I have not monetized our following in any way and my company brought in $0 last year. I’m not embarrassed by it. But I really didn’t think it would take me this long to get there and, naturally, I’ve questioned myself several times.
However, I’ve learned that the overwhelming dreams are the best ones to have because they fill you with a sense of purpose. My dream gives me something to constantly chase. Maybe it’s not meant to be realized and maybe that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I try to stay focused on the dream and take steps to achieve my goals. Maybe all this time I’ve been building the foundation and the next 20 years will be dedicated to finishing a skyscraper. And maybe I was supposed to learn to fully embrace myself as a writer before I thought of myself as an entrepreneur. There’s a ton of maybes and more will pop up along the way. That’s part of the fun.
Be You. Live R.E.A.L.